Dave Shiflett at the Walls Street Journal's "The Saturday Essay" is the father of a deployed soldier. He describes what that's like.
Money quote(s):
"What's it like seeing a family member off to Iraq, and perhaps beyond?
The question comes up regularly these days as our 26-year-old son prepares to ship out. Kids in our middle-class world tend to head for college or for the sort of job that eventually convinces them that college isn't such a bad idea after all. Some friends wonder how our son ended up a sergeant in the Army National Guard.
"Sarge" (as we call him now) didn't volunteer because of family influence. We are Virginians and have served, but only when called. The Vietnam War ended before I got called up, but my father was a World War II navigator in the Naval Air Corps, transporting troops from Hawaii to Guam, and Sarge's grandfather on the other side was in a front-line artillery unit in Korea. A century before, the man I was named after did some surveillance work for Robert E. Lee, and in something of that spirit, our son became an Army Scout.
He is, to be sure, a good demographic fit: Over two-thirds of our armed forces are white, most are male, and Southerners continue to be well-represented in the ranks."
Just to be clear for the statistically-challenged: that means nearly a third of our armed forces are not white, many are female, and yankees could step up to the plate a bit more.
"New acquaintances sometimes seem shocked to meet someone with a deployed family member. "I'm so sorry," is their typical response. You'd almost think the lad was heading into rehab or entering the slave trade. Others simply have no experience with the phenomenon of military service. At a Christmas party a few years ago, a colleague told me, very earnestly, that I was the only person he knew with someone in the military and that my son (whom he had never met) was his only link to that world.
Sheldon Kelly, an old family friend who served with the 82nd Airborne and whose own son has done multiple tours, recalls a lunch in Washington, D.C., with professional friends when the Iraq war was at a high point. "They were all war hawks," he recalled, "but when I told them my son was in Iraq, they were stunned. It was like I was in a different class." None, he added, had children in the military."
My own parents reported something similar. While Dad's a Vietnam veteran (not Vietnam era, Vietnam War) and Mom's an Army brat herself (Grandpa fought in the Philippines and survived a brutal POW experience), in suburban retirement they found that, for many of their peers, I was their only connection with service in Iraq.
(Upon my return from Iraq, I found myself considerably annoyed at all the removeable magnetic "Support The Troops" yellow ribbons. Removeable?)
In fairness, that particular country-club set rallied themselves into more substantive support of wounded patients (and their families) recovering at Walter Reed Army and Bethesda Naval hospitals. And I myself was the beneficiary of considerble care package support from folks I barely knew, and prayers from congretations in towns and cities I've never visited. So there's that.
"Deployment also cured me of a lingering cable-TV habit. Whatever patience I once had for the chattering class—make that the braying class—disappeared. I don't know what is worse: raving about how our soldiers are "mercenaries" or hearing a parlor patriot (go get 'em, boys!) suggest that because recent conflicts are "low-casualty" (compared with Vietnam, Korea and the world wars), they are nothing to get worked up about. As my friend Sheldon pointed out, it does seem that the people with the biggest heart for war never seem to have any blood on the line."
If you don't have skin in the game, then it's not commitment, just a sort-of involvement. As for cable TV, I stopped watching news television (other than Fox) during the redeployment homeward from Iraq. MSNBC and CNN didn't seem to be reporting on the same war I'd just left, at least not even as honestly as Al-Jazeera; only Fox seemed to be actually supporting the troops.
(And troops notice these things. As Dr. Pournelle likes to repeat: Beware the anger of the legions.)
"Deployment can also be a positive experience for soldiers. After returning home, our son said that "when I'm out in the desert, I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing." Sometimes you have to travel 7,000 miles to find a sense of purpose, and many men, I suspect, may come to wish they had made a similar journey.
It's my impression that men like me, who never served, often feel that we've missed out on an important part of life. We don't know what it's like to be young and far away from home, vulnerable to instant personal extinction but also part of the comradeship that such danger creates. In this sense my son's service is a far greater thing than I have ever done.
Back home from deployments, soldiers can experience a vast array of problems, from nervousness while driving under an overpass (ambush?) or in traffic (since cars in today's war zones can carry bombs)"
Madam-at-Arms still doesn't like how I drive after coming home from Iraq most of a decade ago. But having lived (as diplomats) in the Third World, I believe she's come to appreciate why I kept things like first-aid kits, various tools, &tc. in the Arms-mobile, as well as why I always kept the tank at least half full.
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Hat tip to Kathryn Jean Lopez at National Review Online.
